We are Family
by wildcatinuzuka
Summary: What do you get when you have a cross-dressing Naruto, A not so bent on revenge Sasuke and a Sakura that is actually not a fangirl? Chaos. Total and utter chaos and Kakashi is the poor soul that goes with them on this ride.
1. Chapter 1

Sasuke knocked three times on the door of a now familiar apartment. He had spent hours here and he wanted nothing more than to burn it down and remove every bad memory but finally they succeeded. After all the hell they went through for this and more. They had all somehow managed to stay in their respective runnings and thus stack the teams.

They could finally be a family.

Sakura opened the door when he raised his hand to knock again.

She gave a wide grin and pulled him in.

"You're late. What happened, fan girls swamp your ass again?" She asked as he pulled off his shoes.

"Yea, the damn things came out of no where and nearly dragged my ass to Kami knows where," He said as he looked around.

Good, looks like Naruto got started on packing for moving. Sasuke and Sakura were forcing him to move into the Uchiha compound with him; Sakura was also moving in also.

She fed a story about how teams that moved in together worked together better than teams that lived separately to her parents and somehow, they bought it. How, Naruto and Sasuke will never figure out.

"Oh. Ouch. If I knew, I could have rescued you."

"What, you want me carry a flare gun so that every time that I need help with the fan girls I could call for you? Like that will happen."

"Don't tempt me."

A chuckle interrupted the fight. Sakura and Sasuke looked up to see Naruto in a bathrobe with two scrolls in his hands.

"Get changed you goofballs, everything is in the scrolls, I'm gonna have clones finish the packing while we change," Naruto chuckled as he tossed the scrolls to the two and turned. Making a cross hand sign with his hands, Naruto created about fifteen clones, "Alright boys; we have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. So go from room to room and pack everything quickly and carefully. Once everything is packed in boxes, seal them in storage scrolls and those scrolls in a bigger one for easy transport. We have to be out of the apartment by five o'clock pm today and it's now two-thirty. So go get started," He said, "And make sure you have everything! Don't touch the screens in the living room!"

The clones dispersed, some heading for the kitchen, some for the living/dining room and some towards the bathroom, opening the closets on the way by. Naruto shook his head fondly and turned to see Sakura and Sasuke staring at him.

"Go!" Naruto ordered, causing the two to take off towards the screens one of them decorated with a cherry blossom pattern and one covered with little tomatoes. Sasuke slid behind the tomato one while Sakura took the cherry blossoms. A poof signified that they as released the contents of the scroll successfully.

He remembered that one scroll fiasco when they were little.

The Hokage had laughed his ass off when he had seen that.

Silence filled the house as the only noise was the rustling of fabric and the clinking of metal. Sasuke finished first and stepped out from behind the screen. He was wearing a grayish-black muscle shirt with a V-neckline and matching tapered pants. A shoulder guard made of a dark metal and a matching gauntlet adorned his right arm while a leather bracer was on his left. A tattoo of a raising black phoenix in flight stretched up his left arm. He was so glad to have the long sleeves and the covering gloves off, those damn things itch!

A rustle behind him caught his attention. He looked over to see Sakura step out from behind her screen and came into view.

She was dressed in a brown leather micro skirt and a crop top shirt with a short asymmetrical off the shoulder peasant sleeve on the left side as well as a leather shoulder guard on the right. She had on sheer tights on that had clips that disappeared up the skirt. Her tattoo was a red bull covered in flames charging down her right arm. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and she tugged at it irritably and walked over to the entrance way to drop her thigh high boots on the mat.

"You look good Sakura."

"Tanks."

Damn, not her too!

"Don't start on the tanks! Just don't!"

"Why, does it bug you Sasuke-kun?" She teased.

"Damn you woman."

"Knock it off. I swear that you two act like a pack of kids and I thought I was the childish one."

Both genin turned to see Naruto and… hot damn! He looked good!

He changed into a silky brocade orange and black high collar dress. His hair was loose; reaching own to his knees and he had some things in his hand that they knew that were going to end up in his hair. A set of masks were in his other hand and black slippers adorned his feet. Sheer gloves covered his arms and the seals that were painted on there could be vaguely seen.

He looked like a girl.

Sasuke knew for a fact that there were also seals on his hips as well.

Well he painted them on!

Minds out of gutter!

"Nice look Naruto! Everyone will think you are a chick and underestimate you. When they do… BAM! They're out!" Sakura cackled as she looped an arm around his shoulder. Sasuke snorted as Naruto tried to pry her off.

"Sakura, Let me go! I need my hair braided, who wants to do it?"

Sakura and Sasuke looked at each other and seemed to have a conversation without words. Sakura glowered at Sasuke while a smirk graced his face.

"I'll do it," Sasuke said while Sakura's glower got worse.

"Really? Thank you!" Naruto grinned at Sasuke with his million dollar smile.

That million dollar smile that made Sasuke's heart melt and Sakura smile softly. This smile saved them, Sasuke from the need to have revenge against the man that killed his clan and Sakura from both a life she didn't want and a betrothal that could have killed her if she had not gotten out. That smile and that personality and that sense of wonder that had somehow did not die after all the bull that Naruto had gone through in his life. That endless love and forgiveness and that unending need to help others. That unrelenting need and desire to serve Konoha and the need to protect the people of the village, even the ones that had hurt him for something as silly as Kyuubi No Yoko.

Sasuke grabbed everything that was going into his hair. Shinobi wire, seal tags of all kinds and the elastics. He turned Naruto around and divided his hair into three parts and started to braid. He weaved the wire and the tags in with the hair. Over and under; tag and wire. All of it making a braid that reached his hips. Sasuke quickly placed an elastic at the ends. He took the end in his hand and started looping it into a bun. He used the other elastic- stretching it over- to keep it in place. Two deceptively pretty senbon was slipped in, creating a dangerously elegant hair piece. Sasuke stepped back, surveying his handy work with satisfaction.

 _Now_ they could _see_ the elusive fox tattoo on his back clearly.

"Nice work Sasuke. If the Shinobi field doesn't work out, you could be a hair-stylist," Sakura deadpanned as the clones started to file in. One of them had a giant scroll and the rest had smaller scrolls.

"Ready to seal," One of the clones said as the rest gathered close.

"Ok, you can go. Leave the scrolls here," Naruto instructed as the clones poofed out of existence. The last one nodded with a soft smile and plopped the giant one in front of Naruto and exploded in a puff of white smoke. Naruto gathered up all of the small scrolls and opened the bigger scroll of the floor. Placing the scrolls on the paper one by one, he sealed them with a flick of his chakra. The masks and changing screens were next. Once he was done, he picked the scroll up and slung it onto his back.

"Time to go, the landlord is on his way now that it's three-thirty and he also wants me to pay extra for 'not telling him two weeks in advance' even though I told him two months ago," Naruto said just as the bang of feet on wood reached their ears.

"Quick, out the back! GO, GO, GO! " Naruto yelped as he dropped an envelope on the table and bolted for the balcony. Sakura slipped her boots on and took off after him with Sasuke-in his sandals-on her heels. Naruto leapt off first, landing with the grace of a jungle panther and ran to the edge of the next roof and jumped to the second roof.  
"Come on! Hurry!"

Sasuke and Sakura leapt off the balcony, looking like a pair of birds to the on-lookers below and landed, just as the man started to yell. Something along the lines of, 'Get back here you demonic slut and give me my money!'

"Did you give him the money?" Sakura asked as they jumped from roof to roof.

"Yep. It's on the kitchen table."

"Brat."

"I love you too."

And he smiled that million dollar smile.

 ** _New Story! This one is a wee bit different. Read and review and I don't own Naruto... Even though I wish I could..._**


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi was _bored_. _Really_ bored. _Extremely bored._ The kind of bored that might make him kill something- _anything_ \- just to get some entertainment. His Icha Icha Paradise novel sat in its safe pouch and he wanted to read it _so bad_ but a certain Hokage insisted that he be here. And then the damn geezer has the damn balls to be _late_ for his own meeting! Kami, if nothing happened soon...

"Good morning everyone."

Finally, the senile old ass showed up! Kakashi swore that he was late on purpose... wait a minute.

THAT ASSHOLE!

Oh he wanted to give the bastard a piece of his mind but the old fart called for the meeting to start.

"We are all here to discuss this year's genin teams. Iruka, do you have anything to say about this year's roster?" The Hokage asked with that damned lovable grandfather tone of voice.

"Yes sir. This year's roster are an extremely intelligent bunch and show great promise in their shinobi career. Especially these nine. These are the 'shooting stars' of this year," Iruka tossed nine files onto the table and spread them out. He flipped them open one at a time to show the content inside.

"The first one I want to draw your attention to is the Hyuuga heiress Hinata Hyuuga. She's a seemingly _average_ girl for a member of a prestigious clan but she does have a large amount of chakra and power behind her attacks. What the girl needs is a confidence boost and a new fighting style that incorporates her clans' signature chakra point strikes. Choji Akimichi; the future heir to the Akimichi clan and their food chains as well. He also has low self-confidence thanks to plenty of the civilian children teasing him about his weight-and whatever you do, _don't mention the weight_! - But that same weight lends plenty of strength to his taijutsu and he also is deceptively fast. Sakura Haruno, a civilian turned ninja, she has a calculating and strategic mind that can run a thousand calculations at once and can predict a battle with all the variables. She also has the ability to mold her chakra into any part of her body. All she needs is a chance to prove herself and a field such as genjutsu or medical shinobi. Some weight on her bones wouldn't hurt either,"

"Ino Yamanaka, the heir of the Yamanaka clan and the future owner of the Yamanaka flower shop. She has incredible mastery of her clan techniques and has in depth knowledge of medicinal herbs. She needs a chance to get away from the Uchiha and also some weight. Kiba Inuzuka and his nin animal, Akamaru. They are a quick pair with both strength and ferocity behind their attacks. They also have some speed but little to no agility. The boy also has arrogance and alpha male issues. What he needs are two teammates that can handle him. One teammate that is a gentle soul and the other an analytical type to balance him out. And some yoga. Sasuke Uchiha is genius in every field. Fast, strong and talented. He however has teamwork issues and a superiority complex that makes him feel like he is above everyone, even help. Whoever gets him needs to start immediate teamwork and trust exercises with him and his team,"

"Shino Aburame is a shy, introverted shinobi but a practical one none the less. He has little imagination but makes up for it with his clans' powerful techniques that give him an edge. He is swift and light but his true shining is for the tracking arts. Shikamaru Nara is a highly intelligent boy but with little to no motivation what so ever. He is fast and nimble but has no strength to his punches. He however could outmaneuver you in a heartbeat. And finally the surprise of the year, Naruto Uzumaki. He is fast, light, small and agile as hell. He also has power to his punches and insane amounts of chakra, whether it's from Kyuubi or his family, I don't know but that boy is talented and he is hiding it. He also has the makings of a splendid trap master; how that boy can hide and be stealthy in neon orange, I'll never figure out but that also makes him the stealthiest of the nine. All in all, an impressive bunch," Iruka said, wrapping up his speech and letting the jounin mull over it.

Kakashi was impressed. This year's teams seemed powerful and the scion of the Uchiha clan was among them but something was bothering him...

"What are the teams going to be like?" He asked, knowing everyone was waiting for that question.

"That is a good question Kakashi. Iruka, what do you recommend in terms of teams?" The Hokage asked.

"I recommend that team...," Kakashi faded out for a bit here... "And Team Seven-lead by Kakashi Hatake- be composed of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno and Naruto Uzumaki-"

"Pardon me, but won't it be wiser to split Naruto and Sasuke up?" Asuma interrupted.

"No because they balance each other out power wise and Naruto could help Sasuke open up more, he has that affect on people. And Sakura will run interference, she does not tolerate bickering, no matter if her crush is the one arguing with Naruto," Iruka stated, offended that someone thought that they knew his former students better than he did.

"Ok, ok, continue," Kakashi soothed before Asuma could lose his balls and the attached tool. Iruka took a deep breath in and let it out, calming down.

"Team Seven will be the all-around team Kakashi; so focus on stealth training, power training and bukijutsu as well as any topic that catches their eye. They are a curious bunch; use that to your advantage. Also look into speed and stamina training. The only one of them that has even a lick of stamina is Naruto," Kakashi faded out here again, focusing on his new cute little genin.

Sakura Haruno, a fan girl and all around weak link that worshipped the very soil Sasuke walked on but she was smart; calculating everything and using it to her advantage. Also had incredible chakra control but little chakra. He would do chakra-and stamina- building exercises with her to build up her reserves. Sasuke Uchiha, the last of his clan and a prodigy in his own right. Talented and clever, not as intelligent as Sakura but bright enough to confuse the hell out of someone. And he also had the Sharigan as that leveled that playing field-somewhat- but had the same stamina issue as Sakura. He needed to focus on also knocking the need for revenge out of his head. Naruto was a different story all together. He had stamina, speed and chakra in spades but had little control over that chakra and then there was the Kyuubi. Kakashi knew the difference between the knife and the scroll but civilians didn't and Naruto might not either. So he had to keep an eye on that too. Kakashi needed to test them for their elemental affinity so he could craft unique jutsus just for them. He left the meeting, confident that he knew all about them but he was wrong.

Oh so wrong...

 _ **ANOTHER STORY!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Sakura woke up to the smell of bacon, coffee and... Was that fish? She rolled over and right out of the bed, making Sakura peel herself off of the carpet and amble towards the bathroom. She turned on the shower, stripped and got in. Sakura started to think about her day as she rubbed peach scented shampoo in her hair. Today they get the team assignment and she was officially moved out of her childhood home and into the Uchiha compound with Sasuke and Naruto. She smiled with pride of the fact that they had pulled it off; as she put peach scented conditioner in. They had beaten the system and stacked the teams in their favour. They were stuck with each other for the rest of their lives.

And she did not mind that.

"Sakura! Breakfast! Come and get while it's hot!" Think of the Kyuubi and he shall call.

"Coming!"

Sakura rinsed off the soap and stepped out with the towel wrapped around her and padded towards the closest with her outfits. She dressed quickly and snatched the shoulder guard off the night side table. She ran down the hallway towards the kitchen. If you leave your breakfast unattended for more than three minutes, than Sasuke seems to think that he can eat it. She slid in the room in time to see Sasuke reach for her bacon. Sakura launched a kunai from her pouch right in between Sasukes index and middle finger. Sasuke yelped and quickly removed his hand from the danger zone. Naruto laughed from where he was keeping an eye on the food. Sakura snatched her plate away and trotted over to the breakfast bar where you could see into the kitchen. Naruto had remodeled it and the dining room before he had moved in so he could have more room.

They had moved into a smaller house away from the main compound area in the Uchiha district. It was a four story house that had been hollowed out of a giant ancient oak. The first floor was the lived in area of the house; bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom in every bedroom, living room and formal dining room. The second floor was a training room, more or less for chakra training and weapons training than all out combat. The third floor was the war room; used for planning attacks or defense, storing weapons, and keeping an eye out on Konoha using a 3-D electronic map-fondly called the OverMap- that could be touched and moved with just the fingers. They could then send out self-sustaining clone troops to intercept all threats to the village. The fourth floor was the command center. Foxes ran in and out of there-using the tunnels in the tree- with new data and information that even more self-sustaining clones then inputted into computers and scrolls so they could have an idea of what the village is like in that time. This data was then transferred to the OverMap in the war room; this allowed for an up to date map of Konoha at all times.

Naruto had done a complete overhaul of the place when they had first found it so they could move in as soon as they graduated. Sakura remembered the time they found him curled up asleep surrounded by paint and power tools. That had to been the cutest thing she had ever seen; it was right up there with kittens and laughing babies. Naruto had made the kitchen _way_ bigger and the informal dining room got _way_ smaller. The living room was left alone-mostly- but the bedrooms got walk-in closets and bigger bathrooms. They lost a little room in the bedrooms but that was ok, at least the bathrooms _rocked_! The formal dining room got a new chandelier and the entrance way was made bigger with a new chandelier too. Where the hell did he get all the damn chandeliers? The entrance ways' size touched the living room but only ate like ten inches of space. The backyard was _huge_ and had just as much work done on it as the kitchen did. Naruto had nursed the garden back to health and added a vegetable garden near the back of the yard. A giant pool was added with a hot tub nearby. He added a gate at the back so that they could get to their private training ground that Sasuke was sure no one in the Uchiha ever knew about.

"So, whatcha doing?" Sakura asked as she built a sandwich out of all the food on the plate.

"Bento boxes with rice, some sushi, noodles, dumplings, beef, lamb, and chicken mixed teriyaki and fresh veggies on the side. Dessert is red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and chocolate shavings on top," He replied as he stirred the rice to ensure that it didn't become sticky rice; he already had enough.

"What kind of sushi?"

"Eel rolls and beef dumplings for me, orange ginger butterfly shrimp rolls and chicken dumplings for you and lamb rolls plus lamb dumplings for Sasuke," Sasuke choked in his bacon when he heard that. He loved it when Naruto made teriyaki lamb; having it in the actual teriyaki, the dumplings and sushi was a treat all on its' own.

"Thank you Naruto! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He squealed in delight, bouncing around the table.

"Ya welcome you goof, now sit down and finish your breakfast so we can go to the Academy and see if all our effort was worth it." Naruto said as he assembled the bento boxes. Sakura wolfed down her sandwich and she could hear Sasuke do the same with the rest of his plate.

"Wait, where's your breakfast?" Sakura asked as she watched Naruto assemble the boxes with ease.

"Already down my gullet," He said with a hum as he rescued the dumplings from the deep fryer and placed them on a plate with paper towels on it. Leaving them for five seconds longer than cooking time suggested helped keep the crunch. He placed the sushi in one part of the boxes and put the noodles in another. The rice was in next. Naruto spooned the teriyaki on top of the rice and noodles; he then put the veggies in the third spot and drizzled some teriyaki sauce on top. The dumplings went in last, cool after their bath in edible liquid gold. He placed the lids on top and pressed down to seal them shut; the painted on temperature and poison detection seals briefly flashed to show that they were on.

"You should have those patented," Sasuke said as he licked his fingers clean of the bacon grease. Naruto tossed him a damp face cloth. Sasuke licked his fingers every time he had bacon and Naruto could never get him to stop.

"I tried, remember? The Civilian Council refused to let me go to the Shinobi Council saying something along the lines of 'The prestigious Shinobi Council would not waste their time on a demonic whore like you' or something like that. I don't care because I got a meeting with them in two weeks time; so I'll have plenty of time to make samples," He said with a smirk.

Ha; the pompous asses can't stop him now.

Sakura laughed and put her plate in the dishwasher. A coffee would be so nice right now. A nice giant cup of coffee with her favourite candy cane creamer... A to-go mug suddenly was placed in her hand and she nearly dropped it. Amused Persian blues twinkled like starlight as she fumbled with it for a second and then turned into a galaxy when she took a sip and lit up with delight.

"Thank you Naruto! But how...?"

Naruto blushed and looked down.

Ok, now she had to know.

"I may have bought out all the stores in the village when they were on sale. May have. Plus two corner stores. They have time seals on them to keep them from going bad and-AKK!" That last bit was from Sakura hugging the day lights out of them. Sasuke joined in a second later.

"You don't have to spoil us Naruto, but thank you," Sasuke stated.

"Yea, thanks, you are an angel in tan skin," Sakura added with a smile. Naruto blushed and wriggled out of their hold. He passed Sasuke his to-go cup of coffee with mint-chocolate creamer and sealed the lunches and cupcakes in a small scroll that went onto his belt. Naruto grabbed his to-go green tea and headed for the door.

"Well, time to go."

The walk to the Academy was more of a roof top jump across. Perverts who tried to look under Sakuras' and Narutos' skirt was disappointed to note that they wore shorts under there; booty shorts but still, _shorts._ The girls squealed in delight as they caught sight of Sasuke's muscles and they all tried to give chase but thankfully, the ninja were faster or this could have gone into the rated-R zone. They managed to get to the school relatively unharmed... relatively.

"Damn; those monsters are fast!" Naruto panted out as he leaned against the tree in the front of the school. Sakura lay sprawled out on the ground, heaving while Sasuke sat beside her.

"That's it; we're stepping up stamina training or asking our sensei to because we should not be this tired from running for our lives." Sasuke spat out with a dry rasp. Naruto unsealed three water bottles from the food scroll and passed them out.

"Thanks Naruto. Sasuke, think of it like this; if we are tired, how to you think the girls _feel_?" Sakura rasped out with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Sasuke looked at her and gave an evil grin back when realized what she meant. They sat there for a few more minutes and waited for their hearts to stop racing.

"Ready to face the fan girls that _can_ keep up?"Naruto questioned with an amused smirk as Sasuke cussed at him.

They got up and stumbled inside the Academy. Teachers and current students turned to look at them or ogle; whichever you prefer. Sasuke aimed glares left, right, and center at all the people checking his sister and brother out. Sakura was aiming glares at everyone as well and Naruto... well Naruto didn't care that they were staring at him and his family. He just skipped along happily with that million dollar smile gracing his face. When Sakura and Sasuke caught sight of the smile, they smiled back and followed him to the room that the new genin were supposed to be in. Sasuke slid the door open and everyone turned to stare at the three. Now Naruto cared that others stared. He slipped shyly behind Sasuke and waited for the inevitable.

"Sasuke-kun!"

Yep, there it is. The inevitable fan girl screams and swoons and... Oh was that a girl fainting? Yes, yes it was. Ino lead the charge towards the poor sap but a giant war axe stopped them. Oh, Sakura brought Matador out.

"Like, what the hell Sakura? Are you two dating or something?!" Ino screeched out. That hurt his ears.

" ** _Yea, no shit kid_**." Oh and there's Kyuu-chan.

"No but Sasuke is my brother in all but blood so I suggest that you lot of bitches bugger off before I let Matador have a hand or two." Sakura snarled. Matador is a bull spirit that lives in her axe; Sasuke has Flamina, a phoenix spirit in his katana and Naruto has Natsumi and Tundara- two fox spirits and friends of Kyuu-chan- in his clawed gloves but they didn't need to know that... yet.

"What the hell? You drugged or something billboard brow?!" Ino screeched again.

"No you shameless girl, she is telling the truth, now let us sit down before we start a fight," Sasuke sneered as he reached for the seal that held Flamina.

"Sakura, Sasuke; we've scared them enough so let's just go sit down and wait for Iruka-sensei to show up," They turned towards the nervous Naruto; who looked just about ready to bolt from the room.

"Of course Naruto. We can go sit down now." Sakura said as she sealed Matador back in the seal on the left arm. Sasuke put a protective arm around the nervous boy and lead him to the middle row where three seats were empty. Sasuke manoeuvred Naruto into the middle seat and parked himself on the left. Sakura quickly claimed the right for herself and snarled at any person that came near the three.

It was in the middle of one of the snarls that Iruka walked in with the list of who goes where. He raised an eyebrow at the over protectiveness that those two had and the other eyebrow joined its brother when he saw the outfits. But who was he to judge? So he coughed to get everyone's attention. All eyes were soon on him and concern ran through the man when he saw just how watery Naruto's blue eyes were. Naruto gave him a sad smile and Iruka smiled back. He was in good hand but that proves his theory.

Ha, Asuma Sarutobi; take that!

"Welcome to the life..." Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke pretty much fell asleep at this, "Now I will announce your teams."

Finally, the moment of truth, did all their acting pay off?

"Team One..." Not going to last.

"Team Two..." Not going to last either.

"Team Three..." Really?

"Team Four..." Stop torturing us!

"Team Five..." Just give us the news you asshole!

"Team Six..." You're killing us!

"Team Seven; Sasuke Uchiha-" Tell... OH! "-Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno." Yes!

Naruto danced in his seat with apparent joy while Sakura jumped up and down in her seat. Sasuke grinned like a loon while Sakura wrapped Naruto in a hug and bounced with him in her arms. Sasuke reached over and rubbed the top of Naruto's head. Naruto was flashing his million dollar smile.

Iruka watched the festivities in the middle row with amusement and exasperation. Of course that lot beat the system. Hell even he was fooled until he saw Sasuke and Sakura beat up someone for calling Naruto a demon. He knew then and there that they were stacking the teams so they end up together. That is why he looked at their files. Naruto has... unique chakra-which made him the perfect host for Kyuubi-and they had spirits in their weapons. All of them have high IQs' but only Naruto beat Shikamaru and they had specializations already. Hell, they even had the same address. So acting so they could be a team did not surprise the man in the slightest. Oh he knew that Kakashi was doomed. He continues to read out the teams while skillfully ignoring the victory dance that they were doing.

"Team Eight; Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame and Kiba Inuzuka."

"Team Nine..."

"Team Ten; Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi and Shikamaru Nara."

Iruka had given his final speech and said they had to be back after lunch. The new Team Seven were munching at their bento boxes when Ino tried again. But that ended with Ino nearly losing her hairdo to Matador after she called Naruto a cross-dressing whore and Naruto ran interference... again. Naruto was currently writing something on a piece of paper.

"Naruto, what are ya doing?" Sakura asked as she stuffed a chicken dumpling in her mouth.

"Writing a weight-gain plan for Ino's Sensei so they can help her. She is skin and bones and that won't do in the shinobi world. I figured start out small, a little more to her plate than normal and go from there. I also have meals that would help her add some weight on. Maybe she won't be so crabby if she has some food in her."

Sakura shook her head fondly and placed some teriyaki in her mouth. Naruto didn't realize it yet but that was just Inos' personality but she still let Naruto finish writing and sealed it in an envelope. She tossed some sushi in and turned to see Sasuke inhaling his food at the speed of sound.

"Whoa boy! Slow down, you're going to choke yourself and this team will be less one Uchiha!" Sakura hooted as Sasuke inhaled yet another piece of lamb. The rest of the people in the room turned to look at the behaviour of the trio. Naruto grinned at the antics and placed an eel roll delicately in his mouth. Every guy in the room followed the pair of chopsticks as they moved to his mouth and disposed of the food in between his lips and chew. Many of the men gulped at the sight. Many more realized that they were being glared at by Sasuke and Sakura and they quickly returned to their lunches. The ones that didn't do it right away were either glared or subtlety threatened into submission.

Naruto didn't notice a thing.

Lunch finished with half of the genin glared into submission; the other half hissing at Sakura and Naruto for sitting too close to their 'precious Sasuke-kun'. The senseis' arrived to see this... this... they didn't even know what the hell this was. They all decided to get the kids and leave so that they could get started. Kurenai went first. Yea, the males were too damn chicken to go in the room with the two obviously dangerous Team Seven members. The third was oblivious to the glares, submissive looks and hissing that was filling the room.

"Team Eight, come with me please," She ordered. The genin she called for got up. Ah, the Hyuuga heiress, The Aburame heir and the Inuzuka heir. The perfect tracking and strategic strike team. They followed her out and she smirked at the boys as they walked by. See, nothing to be afraid of. She wasn't there to see the dangerous ones glare the male senseis' into submission.

No KI needed or used.

It only got worse after Naruto handed Asuma-Sensei the weight plan.

Finally it was only Team Seven left.

Naruto was pissed.

Really pissed.

Extremely pissed.

No one was late.

They were supposed to be on time.

Never too late and never too early.

On time.

This man was now _late_.

So Naruto snatched the second scroll on the left side off of his belt and unseals some baby powder and a few chalkboard erasers. He didn't want Iruka-sensei to get caught in the crossfire. Sakura snorted at that. That prank was so obvious that their doomed teacher wouldn't be looking for it. Sasuke tried not to laugh at the fact that Naruto had more than one set up and the one on the door is just the trigger for the rest. Naruto pulled Monopoly out of a different scroll from a seal in his arm.

He never mixed his trap kit with the entertainment. That was the unspoken rule Naruto had with his scrolls. Never mix the play with the work.

It ended in disaster. Every time.

The game was set up and soon got underway and competitive real fast. This also happened all the time.

Kakashi walked in this to only be blinded by a cloud of powder. He coughed and realized that the damn cloud got bigger. By the time the cloud cleared, he was certain of three things. One; He hacked his lungs up; at least that's what it felt like. Two; He did not like his cute little genin, at all. Three; said cute little genin were engaged in an insanely intense game of... was that Monopoly? Holy shat it was. And he could cut the tension with a dull kunai.  
"Aw dammit!"

"Ha! Pay up Sasuke!"  
"No fair! You bought the whole line!"

"Pay up and stop whining like a little girl!"  
"Low blow man."

Kakashi blinked at the banter that those two exchanged with such ease. Sakura was laughing her ass off on the floor. She seemed to be used to this... he did not know how else to explain this in any other way except as familiarity that only comes with family. This team was a family. What took him, Rin and Obito a war to realize; they had that before they even got started. That was going to make training a lot easier.

"Ahem."

All of them turned to look at Kakashi. All eyes were on him. Then they started to laugh at him. Why the hell are they laughing at him? Oh wait the reason why he decided that he did not like them right now...

"I decided that I hate you. Now meet me on the roof in five minutes," That should test if they have listening skills. He shunshined away; leaving the three genin in the classroom. Kakashi settle on the bench and pulled out Icha Icha Paradise, ready for at least three minutes of reading.

Until he heard it...

 ** _Cliffhanger! Read and Review!_**


	4. Chapter 4

"Ow! Careful with those, they're sharp!"

What the hell...?

"Stop acting like an idiot Sasuke and I wouldn't have to cuff you in the ass."

Where are they?!

"Knock it off you two and climb."

Climb? Than that means that they are-!

Kakashi bolted to the side of the roof and peeked over. Wall. Wall. Genin. Wall... wait! Back up! He zoomed in on the three genin that apparently had the balls the size of the sun made of poorly crafted chakra metal to climb the wall with ashiko on their hands and feet. Nothing else. Naruto was in the lead with Sasuke behind him and Sakura a little bit underneath Sasuke. They had made good progress the whole time that they were arguing and even better progress for the fact that they had to start on the second floor and the roof was two floors above the window. Naruto looked up and saw Kakashi staring at them. Naruto did a very good imitation of an anime sweat drop and blinked at him. Twice.

"Guys, we've been had."

That shut Sasuke and Sakura up. They looked upwards and also blinked at Kakashi and then they resumed climbing like it was nothing wrong with being had. They made it with a minute to spare, which they used to straighten each other up. When the time was up, they were parked in front of the bench that Kakashi tried to get settled in before he realized that his new cute little genin were ballsy. They stared at him expectantly. He stared back. This went on for two minutes and Kakashi swore that they didn't blink once.

"Ok... Share your name, likes, dislike, hobbies and dreams," Kakashi said "So we can get to know each other better."

"Why don't you go first Sensei?" Sakura asked in either a cutesy or sing-song voice. Kakashi just couldn't decide.

"Ok. My name is Kakashi Hatake. My likes are too adult for you guys, my dislikes are also too adult for you guys. My hobbies, again too adult and my dreams are unimportant," Kakashi swore that all three of them pouted, "Pinkie, you first."

"My name is Sakura Haruno. I like training, medical ninjutsu, chocolate-or any- cake, vodka, Naruto, Sasuke, my axe Matador and bulls. Oh! And Naruto's cooking. My dislikes are late people, porn, assholes, and people who base everything off of either rumors or first impressions. Also people giving missions due to gender. My hobbies are training, dancing and reading-anything really but mostly reports or Intel- plus helping Naruto around the house. And my dreams are to make Naruto Hokage and be the best medic in the world. Plus be a Saanin"

Kakashi blinked. Well, he did not expect that. He expected her to be obsessed with the Uchiha. There goes the weakest link theory.

"You next duck-butt," Sasuke's forehead vein popped out while Naruto and Sakura let out peals of laughter.

"I am Sasuke Uchiha. I like training, taijutsu, lamb-especially Naruto's lamb-, tequila, Naruto, Sakura, Naruto's cooking, my katana Flamina and phoenixes. I dislike perverts, porn, rumors, late people, revenge and assholes. My hobbies include training, singing, meditating and helping Naruto around the house and my dream is to ensure that Naruto becomes Hokage and to be a Saanin."

Kakashi blinked a second time. Wait, what was that flying away? Oh that was the 'Sasuke was an arrogant ass that needed teamwork exercises' theory. Hopefully, Naruto was a little normal but judging by the outfit he had on, likely not.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki," Oh look, no incentive needed, "I like training, fuinjutsu, bukijutsu, Sasuke, Sakura, Kyuu-chan, cooking, cleaning, tending the house, my clawed gloves Natsumi and Tundara, wine-white, rose, red; whatever- and foxes. My dislikes are perverts, porn, cooked veggies, rumors and assholes. My hobbies consist of cooking, cleaning, gardening, tending the house, training, music and weapons collecting and training. My dreams are to be Hokage and a Saanin."

Well Kakashi asked for normal and he got it. Mostly. The fact that he was friend with the Kyuubi No Yoko was actually not that alarming. This group of students surprised him already. So what else could they do?

"Right... wait! Do they...?"

Naruto tilted his head to the side. "You mean if they know about Kyuubi? Yea, well they are my family so telling them was the right choice."  
Ok... this kid is scary...screws that, this whole bunch of genin were just plain nuts. He glared at his new cute little devils. Yep, that is what they are and if they could surprise a seasoned shinobi with the little bit of personal information that he was sure that they gave him; than he was screwed three ways to Sunday. Those buggers could have bobby-trapped the training field and he would not even know it. He had to be careful."

"...Sensei. Sensei!" He jerked out of his thoughts to see the devils gathered around him looking at him. What do they want now? "Meet me in Training ground Seven tomorrow and no breakfast or you'll get sick."

"Hey Sensei, do you want to come to come to supper with us?" Kakashi stared at the kids in shock. No one had offered a home-cooked meal. No one. How could he say no to his cute little demonic angels?

"Alright, if that is what you want, I'll come for dinner, "He said; amused by the fact that Naruto's twinkling Persian blues had turned into a cosmos when he said that he will come for dinner. Naruto cheered and _bit_ his own finger; causing it to bleed. He made one handed hand signs and slapped the rail. A baby blue _fox_ appeared on the spot that the genin-that should _not_ know summoning jutsu- had just summoned it.

"You called Naruto-Sama?" The fox asked with a sweet feminine voice.

"Yes Cornflower. Four back to the Den please," Naruto commanded with a soft voice.

"Of course Naruto-sama." The fox started to glow.

The fox.

Was glowing.

The.

Fox.

Was.

Glowing.

Kakashi stared at the fox that was clearly glowing a soft blue-ish white colour. Sasuke and Sakura intertwined the fingers of their left hand in the fur. Kakashi looked over at Naruto and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand slipped into his own. He looked down to realize that Naruto had placed his left hand on the glowing fox's head and his right hand was in Kakashi's own.

"Hold on tight Kakashi-sensei. I don't want to lose you in the world of the summons," Naruto said as he squeezed the intertwined hand a little tighter. Kakashi opened his mouth to ask what the hell they meant when he felt a pull at his navel and was yanked off of his feet. His world consisted of pale blue, violet and pink for about... two or three minutes and ended with another jerk to the navel and landing on a patch of grass. Kakashi's vision spun and waves of nausea crashed over him like a tidal wave. He twirled away from the genin, yanked his mask down and let lunch come up. And he did all that in under a minute. Impressive.

A small hand glided up and down his back in a calm, soothing manner while another held the silver hair away from his face. Someone was saying some and another person replied softly; Kakashi couldn't understand that was being said and he kinda didn't care. He was too busy loosing last week's lunch. Finally, the nausea stopped and the... whatever that was... was out of his system. A bottle of water was gently forced into his palm and he took small swigs of the water. Large gulps are the enemy.

"You feeling better? We should have warned you but considering you were a seasoned shinobi, we thought that a quick pop over would only make you dizzy. I'm sorry," Kakashi quickly fixed his mask and looked up to see a worried Naruto, an amused Sasuke and Sakura and the pale blue fox- it name was Cornflower right? - looking like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry sir. I didn't know that you would become so ill. If I had known, I would have used the river system. Please forgive me," Cornflower pleaded as big, sloppy tears marked her fur. Naruto quickly scooped up the sobbing vulpine in his arms and started to stroke the fur. Kakashi sweat dropped and watched as the fox kept sniffling and crying.

"Sorry about Cornflower; she is a Water fox and they are an incredibly emotional species of fox. They are considered to be the keepers of the gateways. All Water foxes can control a certain gateway but Cornflower is exceptional even among her own people. You see, she has the unique power to use all of the gateways but that makes her more emotional than even other Water foxes," Naruto said as he rubbed the silky pelt.

Kakashi looked surprised that Naruto knew that much about his apparent summons and if he was to be honest; he was curious to know more. He may just sign a secondary contract with the foxes... If the thrice damned civilians got over their fear of everything and anything that looked like a fox.

"I would like to know more about your foxes. Would you care to tell me more?" Kakashi asked.

Sakura let out a groan while Sasuke shook his head in exasperation; that idiot just signed his own death warrant. Once Naruto got going, there was no shutting him up.

They tried.

It never ended well.

"Regular summons have a summoning hierarchy based off of what you have and how useful you are; if you're useful, you go but the foxes realized that the old system was getting the people they were contracted with killed and a summon does not like or tolerate that. So the foxes did an over haul of the system. They first organized their kind by two classes; Basic and Special. The Basic classes are Stamina, Agility, Strength and Speed. The Special classes are Battle, Protection, Healing and Weaponry. All classes interlink with each other but Battle is using the body as the weapon while Weaponry is as it sounds. They then use a command center to identify the needs of the summoning shinobi. After that they pick the fox that is closest to the needs of the shinobi and send them. If the fox that they choose is unavailable then they send the next best one. That way, the perfect fox is sent for the job. All this- mind you- takes place in the human equivalent of a nanosecond because time moves slower in the summons realm. This system has actually proven to lower shinobi mortality rates. They are currently the second lowest summons with a death rate; dogs being first because they use a pack per person summoning system. Once you summon a pack, they are yours till you die. The rest of the summoning world is starting to follow those two lead except for the old summons but they are traditionalists that have a stick up their ass... are you _copying_ all this?" Naruto had said and asked all that while they went in the house. Kakashi hadn't even noticed that he had removed his shoes and was now holding-and _petting_ \- Cornflower at the breakfast bar; watching his cute little genin start to cook while a clone that he had apparently created was taking notes.

Yea, he was that badass.

"Yep; I wanted to know more because I am considering a secondary contract with them. Dogs are flexible like that. They work well with foxes and they allow it; unlike the traditional summons," Kakashi informed his student who pulled out a big bowl of dough from the fridge... damn that's a lot of dough!

"Oh. Ok. I personally recommend that you stay with the dogs though because while having a secondary contract may seem like a smart idea, it might not work out all that well and sometimes having a team that uses different animals and not sharing them actually covers all bases and prevents arguments from occurring. Dogs are expert trackers, while phoenixes are our eyes in the sky. Bulls are the powerhouses while foxes are intel and stealth fighters. We have all bases covers and we know our summons inside and out so we make no mistakes while summoning. They also play into our strength so you should record this information so that you have an idea of what our summons can do," The clone copied the whole thing while Kakashi mulled it over. The kid had a point. They had all bases covered and he just learned that all of them had summons. He nodded for Naruto to continue. Naruto smiled and pulled out more bowls from the fridge.

"Foxes have a total of six species. All of them are kind souls that love their shinobi and while we are on the subject; did you know that foxes are considered the second most loyal of the summons? Dogs and Wolves are tied for first, Cats third, Phoenixes fourth and Bulls fifth. They will never leave you. Back to the main topic; the first thing you should know is that all foxes have an elemental power tied to their species name. There are a few rare cases that the power-elemental or not; which is even rarer- is actually tied to the birth name. The first species we will cover today are the Fire foxes. Fire foxes are rash, bold, invigorating, and loud as hell; think with their hearts and not the heads and love to party. You can identify them by their red-orange and bronze fur. They usually fall under the Battle, Strength, Speed and Weaponry class. They are also be likely to attack at full force in a series of attacks that are similar to a blitz attack that will leave you scorched but they tend to burn out after a few minutes of this so pair them with either with a steady Earth fox or a just as rapid Air fox. A Water fox might work too but it makes combo moves a little difficult and they fight like Konoha and Kumo Nin. They are the go to fox though if you need a fox that will leave your opponents trembling in fear or if you just want to have the battle done quickly."

Ground meat, onions, garlic, peppers and some other things were being pan fried in a skillet.

"Earth foxes are kind, parental, sturdy, stubborn, heart before head, and quiet. They have a green to brown colouring to their fur. They have a tendency to fall in the Strength and Stamina class but they also go into the Protection and Healing classes. They have a habit of drawing the battle out; make their enemy wear themselves out and strike when the target is too tired to defend themselves anymore. Pair with a Fire fox for maximum damage or a Water fox for controlled chaos. An Air fox is too unpredictable for these gentle creatures so avoid using them together unless you want-or need-extreme chaos in a hurry. They are the foxes you need when you need a constant presence on the field that is sturdy or a healer."

Oil was added to another pan about half knuckle deep and turned on at low heat.

"Water foxes are sweet, emotional, loving, calm, head before heart and go with the flow creatures. They are easiest to identify by their blue fur. They fall into the Stamina, Agility, Healing and Battle class. They are similar to Earth foxes but they will strike if they see the perfect opportunity. Pair with an Earth fox for an easy to control mudslide or an Air fox for a wet, wild twister. Never a Fire fox because they tend to put each other out also the calmer Water foxes and the rash Fire foxes would most likely fight each other and not the enemy; although the enemy would most definitely get caught in the middle. Water foxes are the fox for the job when you need a fox that will adapt quickly and stay cool in the thick of it."

The dough is being rolled out and cut into palm sized circles.

"Air foxes are swift, intelligent, free spirited, noisy, nosy, head over heart and go where the wind takes us kind of foxes. They have a silver to pearlescent look to their pelt. These foxes fall under the Agility, Speed, Weaponry and Protection class. They act like Fire foxes and they tend to strike first but they will stop or observe the enemy to learn something. They are best paired with a Fire fox when you are in need of a firestorm or a Water fox for an icy surprise. Never make them work with an Earth fox or you are going to have a disaster on your hands. They are the fox you need when speed and silence is key."

Filling was being placed in the dough and sealed; fork crimping the edges. One is tossed in the oil and it started to cook.

"The next two species work well with the others but not so well with each other unless you ask. And even that is pushing it. The first one of the two is Light foxes. These noble creatures are no-nonsense, analytical, sophisticated, head over heart and dedicated to learning as well as being honourable. You can tell that you have a Light Fox by the gold colour in their fur. They fall under Speed, Protection, Healing and Agility class. They are the kind of foxes that will stalk their quarry for days'-years even if that is what it takes- learning all about it before striking. They would use themselves as a shield for others by using their powers to create a light bomb to blind the enemy. They are the foxes you need when you are in a jam and need a fox that has an even cooler head than a water fox."

More tossed in the oil. Constant check while lettuce, tomatoes, radishes and carrots were being chopped up.

"Dark foxes are fierce, compassionate, loyal, competitive, heart over head and even more noble and honourable than Light foxes. They will never go back on a promise and do everything in their power to fulfill it. They have a blackish-purple fur. They fall under the Strength, Stamina, Battle and Weaponry class. They will strike in a kamikaze style of fighting that result in them either getting their prey or gets them sent back to the realm of the summons. They are the foxes you need when a Fire fox is not enough for the job."

More placed in oil, more taken out of the oil and place on a plate.

"All species have an additional power that is symbolically linked to their element. Water foxes for example can access gateways between worlds or places through portals; while Air foxes have impressive vocal skills and can even mimic other voices. Fire foxes can change the size of their bodies depending on temperature while Earth foxes can grow any plants and food anywhere. Light foxes have vast knowledge and Dark foxes have powerful bodies for small creatures."

The rest were released from the oil and placed on the plate. Dressing was pulled out of the fridge and sauce was taken off of the stove.

Ding.

Dumplings are served.

The clone wrapped up the writing as Naruto set the piled high plate on the already set table... huh, when did that happen? Kakashi gave Cornflower one more pet and put her down on the bar as he turned his attention to the student who was still talking.

"All in all, foxes are peculiar creatures that have unique powers and skills-there are regular foxes that have a unique skill for every situation- that challenge the other summons in terms of superiority. The Dogs, Cats, Wolves, Bulls and Phoenixes are the few that are on par with Foxes and they are one of few summons that use the class hierarchy. If you want to learn about the Bulls and the Phoenixes, I recommend that you talk to Sakura and Sasuke respectively. Sasuke uses the Phoenixes and Sakura uses the Bulls," Naruto said as he placed the juice on the table and turned to a bell.

"Cover your ears," Naruto said as he snatched a cloth covered mallet. Kakashi did just that when he raised it and slammed it against the bell. Naruto seemed to wait for something. Kakashi was about to ask what they were waiting for when two blurs flew into the room and planted themselves on either side of the head chair. Kakashi blinked at how quickly Sakura and Sasuke had come for dinner and he settled in his seat.

Naruto glared at the three at the table for a minute. Sakura quickly saw it and tapped Sasuke's arm, racing him to the sink. Kakashi watched them fight over the soap as he got the gist and went to wash his hands. He pulled his gloves off and grabbed the soap from the feuding genin. He quickly scrubbed his hands clean, tossing the soap back into the fray and dried them on an offered tea-towel. Kakashi moved back to the table and watched the still fighting genin.

"I got here first so hand over the soap!" Sasuke snapped. Sakura had the soap in her hand, her arm raised high above the slightly shorter male.

"Nope! I got the soap first and besides isn't it ladies first?" Sakura retorted.

Sasuke snorted, "I see no lady. Just a cow."

Sakura shrieked in rage and lunged at Sasuke, dropping the bar of soap. Sasuke and Sakura tumbled out the back door in a cloud of limbs and dust. Naruto shook his head and washed his hands. He sat at the head of the table. Kakashi realized that he was seated across from him. Naruto dug into the dumplings that he had made and Kakashi took his cue to eat.

Kakashi listened to the shrieks, howls, ripping and hissing that was coming from outside. Naruto just ignored the commotion that the two were making.

"Does this happen often with those two?" Kakashi asked as the sound of a clay pot shattering filled the air.

Naruto snorted, "Yea, all the time. Everyone thought Sasuke and I were rivals but Sakura and Sasuke are worse than he and I ever was when we were acting. They will go to war over the littlest thing such as the last dumpling and who has laundry duty that day. It's funny as hell to watch on a good day and annoying as hell on a bad day. They will sort themselves out soon enough anyhow. Just leave enough for them to eat and I will be happy."

Kakashi grinned underneath his mask.

"You dumb woman!"

"You damn pussy!"

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

Naruto got up; apparently having just about enough of the fighting, snatched a pair of rubber balls out of the nearby fruit bowl and whipped them out the door. Kakashi chuckled when two 'thwacks' and twin cries of indignation were heard; Naruto already sitting back down. Sasuke and Sakura storming in with an enraged look but they paused when they saw the food. Sakura swiftly washed her hands and sat down with Sasuke not far behind her.

"Itakimasu!" They quickly said and they dove into the mountain of dumplings, chopsticks clacking and food being stuffed into their mouths. Kakashi quickly snatched a few onto his plate, fully intending to eat when no one was looking. He got that opportunity when there was only one dumpling left; Sasuke and Sakura were engaged in an intense stare-off with Naruto watching on the sidelines.

"Alright, same rules like last time," Naruto stated as the two in question glowered at each other, "No biting, no stabbing each other in the face, no deadly weapons, not maiming and no needless destruction of my dishes. You break it; you have to buy a new set," Sakura and Sasuke quickly nodded, "Alright; on your mark," They raised the chopsticks, "Get set," They tensed, "Go!"

The only way to describe the fight that followed was absolute chaos. The chopsticks were engaged in a violent dance, intent on get that dumpling. Sakura wielded her like a pair of wooden kunai while Sasuke used them like daggers. Sakura blocked Sasuke's chopstick with her own and Sasuke parried the incoming chopstick with his.

Kakashi quickly ate; not wanting to be seen without his mask by his students. Naruto was refereeing the whole thing with an iron hand. The fight finally ended when Sakura speared the dumpling with her left chopstick and had stuffed it in her mouth before Sasuke could intercept it.

Kakashi loved the smiles that his genin had the whole time.

 _ **I am on a roll!**_


End file.
